homosexuality in the church
For me, the toughest part of my homosexuality is the isolation it entails. I’m not exactly talking social isolation but sexual isolation (although I’m sure sexuality is a subset of sociality). I couldn’t care less if Johnny Farkas or any other fuckface doesn’t like the fact that I’m gay. I do whatever the hell I wish, and others understand not to fuck with me. It’s exclusively personal. I’m sure there are plenty of people like me and in an analogous situation; however, they’re not around my school or my community. Of course, why am I thinking this? Are there no straight kids my age, single? Well, of course there are. It’s not, however, like they have zero chance at anything in the dating world, as I pretty much do. There may be sincerity in other places, but for the gay guy like me, there’s no sincerity in love, to which I’m unluckily drawn the most. Gee, if my school were filled with hundreds of theoretically-viable partners, I’m sure I’d have my ass a fucking field day. “Homosexual frustration.” I guess this describes it. It’s true, really. It’s just so goddamn true, and I know this so goddamn much, that being unable to fix it is a source of immeasurable frustration. Of course, what would life be like, then, if I were straight or even bi? I can’t help but feel that it would be much better; or at least it would have the potential to be so much better. I don’t know, man. If there were a pill that would instantly turn one from gay to straight, I think I’d take it. I think that I would like them to make that thing now, in fact. Any thoughts on this most likely incoherent rant?